agony by KotaNashi

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Submission Name: agony dots

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Author:	KotaNashi
Elite Ratio:	5.75 - 29/36/18
Words:	74

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	872
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	468

Description:

agony

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How many stars died
to combine and make those eyes
of course that I
am unworthy of gazing at?

and how many lives
have I spent forced to survive
but, of course I've
never quite got close enough

whats the noble thing to do
admire from afar and not taint you
as I'm used to
or plant my roots in your fertile skin

Oh, let me in.
Let me in.

Submitted on 2013-08-10 11:37:55 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Love from afar
a long love affair, one sided
the truth of which is seemingly unknown
to the one who is loved.
Never dying, always growing, yearning to connect...yet, never to be...or so you think.

Should the door be open to you...
would you dare go inside
though fear of the new reality might shatter
the ions of hopes and dreamy dreams?
A changeling you'd become,
caught up in a new life,
for once you enter,
you can never return.
| Posted on 2013-08-14 00:00:00 | by KimmyMim | [ Reply to This ]
  As long as you think of yourself as a taint, you ought to forget about love and do athletic training and art. Then when somebody wants to have sex with you, you will be lustful instead of spiritually frustrated. Alas, this is the death of romance and the gateway to happiness. But Iam not worthy to talk about these things. Sorry.
| Posted on 2013-08-14 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
  It always bothers me a little when a love is desribed as intense. It's redundant. There can't be love without intensity. I like this piece. It speaks of a love yearned for yet out of reach. Out of reach it seems by the narrator's own feelings of inadequacy. There is a pleading in this that is felt. Nice work.
| Posted on 2013-08-13 00:00:00 | by CNPerry | [ Reply to This ]
  Plants compete for nutrients like water in soil. They keep growing out their roots so they can soak up all the possibilities that they can contain.

Here, I feel as if the narrator is split down into all these competing plants. Each one has its own little weakness, not to mention strength. The soil itself is the sole purpose that these plants are alive, but it's hard to grasp such a concept when they're all struggling to stay alive in it.

| Posted on 2013-08-10 00:00:00 | by Kael Fenshir | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.