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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rise Phoenixdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AlfalfaThistles
    Elite Ratio:    0.01 - 0/2/1
    Words: 387
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 756
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2222



    Description:
       This is a poem about child abuse and how we trick ourselves into thinking it is our own fault our parents are how they are and that we deserve it. It tells of how lonely abuse can be but also how you can escape from it when you get older and realize how abused you really were.. My own personal journey.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRise Phoenixdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Echoes still rumble through this house like cries in a cave
    The little girl inside me was confused how to behave
    walking like a ballerina on a dance floor, sneaking through hall
    wanting to be loved and held, but feeling just so small

    The sins of my ancestors carried through the wind
    I'd have no one but myself to hold, waiting to begin
    What I had dreamed a journey, my pain had transformed
    crying all nighttime finding solace in the morn
    till the lights went dim and moon set in, he would hear my cries
    but he'd laugh at me, the cold old face with a smile I despise

    My dreams would make freedom seem more appealing every day
    but the beating and the raging left me without words to say
    Just to ask for help or a savior, my little voice couldn't muster
    until the day my light went out and I had lost my luster

    Sunny days had turned to gray, a sad heart in my chest
    through it all I'd fake a smile and try my best
    as not to worry others or seem pitifully abused
    The times it mattered to feel safe had all been refused
    now the days are longer, I am older but still broken by the beast
    who made me but who hates me and cut me up like meat

    A calloused heart of cruel intentions crushed me up like sod
    and for the times I split in two, I must applaud
    Because the broken cannot handle pain early in their youth
    I tried to make sense of all the facts I knew as truth

    When I was young I became two people, now long to be one
    a stronger woman who knows anything can be overcome
    But the past, it rages inside me on the highest above shelf
    gnawing at my happiness like the devil did himself.

    I feel myself explode in flames that scatter to the floor
    in the home my grandma left me, I'll burn it down some more
    I'll slaughter all the memories that left me torn apart
    So the woman I was meant to be can have a place to start
    The ashes fall and I've killed the pain
    the phoenix rises from my heart, she flies again.




    Submitted on 2013-08-14 20:17:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      
    | Posted on 2013-08-23 00:00:00 | by freemanwalker | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very beautiful. I applaud your resilience. So many abused children become evil in turn and take out their revenge on other innocents. I'm not really a religious person but I pray for your success. Your desire to overcome your past and become the woman you want to be is heartening. Seriously this almost brought tears of happiness to me. It reaffirmed my faith in humanity. Good luck, and as strained as it might agnostic seem, God bless you!

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2013-08-14 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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