Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: just godots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DaniEllis
    Elite Ratio:    2 - 6/7/8
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 757
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 721



    Description:
       Horny guy talking to an inexperienced girl. Trying to convince her, sweet at first then getting frustrated and pushy.
    I don't capitalize when being the lesser or bad person in the scenario. Just something that I've always done.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsjust godots
    -------------------------------------------


    just go down
    it'll be alright
    just go down
    and i'll love you tonight

    do this for us
    it's no big deal
    go down on me now
    and do it for real

    i know you're scared
    but that doesnt matter
    listen out there to that
    clitter and clatter...

    we can't be caught
    they're all outside
    hop on my dick
    i'll give you a ride.

    we have a chance
    thats all i need
    to get in your pants
    and then i will leave.

    if you don't want to
    i guess i should go;
    i really wish
    you'd go down on me though!




    Submitted on 2013-08-18 21:11:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      
    | Posted on 2013-08-23 00:00:00 | by StephE | [ Reply to This ]
      Funny, seems like you are trying too hard to make everything rhyme. It does have a good flow though. There was a rhythm to it when I read it. Possibly use better descriptive words. (I don't know, trying to give some advise):) But it was alright. I enjoyed the read, just glad that no little eyes were reading it.
    | Posted on 2013-08-23 00:00:00 | by StephE | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197770

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Linger written by saartha
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    This written by Chelebel
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Incubus written by monad
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    To written by SavedDragon
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Giving written by jjd
    Wavelength written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry