Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tell her "I love You"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: gwenn sundala
    Elite Ratio:    3.71 - 76/70/51
    Words: 126
    Class/Type: Story/Longing
    Total Views: 685
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 699



    Description:
       I wrote this poem a long time ago, when my grandma died. I wrote using the Elibeth Gensch moniker, and was going to post it on the site, but then I lost my account info for my original account. While cleaning in my house the other day, I found a paper from poetry.com scam, and I realized that this was the poem I almost gave in to the scam with. Going back to poetry,com, I found the poem, so here it is.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTell her "I love You"dots
    -------------------------------------------


    She lay in bed, unable to sleep
    Where had the time gone?
    Just yesterday, she was a carefree girl
    Now she was in High School
    She wishes she could stay young
    And yet she wants to grow up
    She wishes she could see the one
    She loved with all her heart
    Three hours away, her grandma fell ill
    they said she wouldn`t last long
    She smiled at her husband and whispered these words;
    "Tell Eli that I love her"
    When Eli was told, "Your Grandma is gone"
    She mourned for the one she loved
    She felt so guilty for not saying goodbye
    She`d have to leave it in God`s hands, now




    Submitted on 2013-08-23 11:57:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very sad. Im glad you had the courage to put so much emotion into it though. I think the more emotion you put into your poems the better. it really helps the people reading it understand what your feeling about whatever situation is going on, in this case someones death im guessing who was very close to you. always a sad time...
    love
    Teofila<3
    | Posted on 2013-09-14 00:00:00 | by Teofila | [ Reply to This ]
      Sad but beautiful. It's great that you had a close relationship with her.

    I really like the "it is in God's hands now" part. Too many people get caught up in trying to change things.


    It's a wonderful expression of a very acute grief.
    | Posted on 2013-08-24 00:00:00 | by SweetAndOhSoME | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197794

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Push written by JanePlane
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Giving written by jjd
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Incubus written by monad

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry