Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Tell her "I love You"

Author: gwenn sundala
Elite Ratio:    3.68 - 76 /71 /53
Words: 126
Class/Type: Story /Longing
Total Views: 1483
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 699


I wrote this poem a long time ago, when my grandma died. I wrote using the Elibeth Gensch moniker, and was going to post it on the site, but then I lost my account info for my original account. While cleaning in my house the other day, I found a paper from scam, and I realized that this was the poem I almost gave in to the scam with. Going back to poetry,com, I found the poem, so here it is.

Tell her "I love You"

She lay in bed, unable to sleep
Where had the time gone?
Just yesterday, she was a carefree girl
Now she was in High School
She wishes she could stay young
And yet she wants to grow up
She wishes she could see the one
She loved with all her heart
Three hours away, her grandma fell ill
they said she wouldn`t last long
She smiled at her husband and whispered these words;
"Tell Eli that I love her"
When Eli was told, "Your Grandma is gone"
She mourned for the one she loved
She felt so guilty for not saying goodbye
She`d have to leave it in God`s hands, now

Submitted on 2013-08-23 11:57:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Very sad. Im glad you had the courage to put so much emotion into it though. I think the more emotion you put into your poems the better. it really helps the people reading it understand what your feeling about whatever situation is going on, in this case someones death im guessing who was very close to you. always a sad time...
| Posted on 2013-09-14 00:00:00 | by Teofila | [ Reply to This ]
  Sad but beautiful. It's great that you had a close relationship with her.

I really like the "it is in God's hands now" part. Too many people get caught up in trying to change things.

It's a wonderful expression of a very acute grief.
| Posted on 2013-08-24 00:00:00 | by SweetAndOhSoME | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?