Waiting by isis

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Submission Name: Waiting dots

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Author:	isis_lenore
Elite Ratio:	3.78 - 459/207/102
Words:	81

Class/Type:	Misc/Longing
Total Views:	684
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	506

Description:

Waiting

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I want you to reach out
run your hand down my face,
through my hair. I want you
to want me beyond the chase.

Beyond the horizon the sun melts
into the moon's soft embrace.
for but a moment, as one
tangled in their special place.

You mouth some day, one dayâ€¦
Is that enough to get through the chase?
With your lips pressed against my face
inhaling your scent and Iâ€¦. donâ€™t know

Submitted on 2013-08-28 17:07:16 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
The chase is fun. Dreaming is often more pleasurable then elusive reality. At some point i grew too old for the chase not wanting to waste my time I just immediately cut it short and was like is this going to go anywhere because if its not then onward i search.

Anyway as far as the poem I love that you paint the scene enough to feel the caress on a cheek. Imagine running hands through your hair as I've done with my wife and many past lovers. I liked the way you used the otherwise clichéd sun and moon masculine/ feminine uniquely to symbolize limbo, cuddling or making love the specifics aren't important.

It could be taken a step further what time of year ect but i don't know that this piece needs it. It just make it even more imersive
| Posted on 2013-09-11 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]
Very nice. That is all :)
| Posted on 2013-09-02 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.