Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Waitingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: isis_lenore
    Elite Ratio:    3.78 - 459/207/102
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Misc/Longing
    Total Views: 684
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 506



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWaitingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I want you to reach out
    run your hand down my face,
    through my hair. I want you
    to want me beyond the chase.

    Beyond the horizon the sun melts
    into the moon's soft embrace.
    for but a moment, as one
    tangled in their special place.


    You mouth some day, one day…
    Is that enough to get through the chase?
    With your lips pressed against my face
    inhaling your scent and I…. don’t know





    Submitted on 2013-08-28 17:07:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The chase is fun. Dreaming is often more pleasurable then elusive reality. At some point i grew too old for the chase not wanting to waste my time I just immediately cut it short and was like is this going to go anywhere because if its not then onward i search.

    Anyway as far as the poem I love that you paint the scene enough to feel the caress on a cheek. Imagine running hands through your hair as I've done with my wife and many past lovers. I liked the way you used the otherwise clichd sun and moon masculine/ feminine uniquely to symbolize limbo, cuddling or making love the specifics aren't important.

    It could be taken a step further what time of year ect but i don't know that this piece needs it. It just make it even more imersive
    | Posted on 2013-09-11 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice. That is all :)
    | Posted on 2013-09-02 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197821

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    To written by SavedDragon
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Giving written by jjd
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Bond written by saartha
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    4th of July written by layDsayD

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry