Time to Give Shit -------------------------------------------
You don't see how annoyed
I am?
Like a silver eyed ivy
Like a blood sucking vine
That grows in the salt
Beneath our skins.
How venomous
Do I look?
How bad, abnormal
Angry, animalistic?
An open pored organism
That hides from the sun
And weeps bitterly
In your muted ears
In the raven nights
Alone.
Have you wondered the horizon
Is merely a cut?
Like I have felt its injury
Grooving my lips red
Its non virgin partition
Licked my blood dry
Daily at the dusk
It rottened my veins more
More hateful, more boiled.
I have heard my shrieks
Being always hushed
I have burnt many times
In the remains of my dreams
And love has burnt by me
Like a ghostly alter ego
Leaving its molten meat
On my broken claws
But no, no blames taken
No more hurts taken
For how many times
I shall not give you shit
For I have seen myself choking
For I have watched me dying
And watched me keep on dying
And for more than once
I couldn't save myself
I couldn't wake them up
Who address me grace
Were asleep then.
I agree with the person below. The expressions in this piece is really nicely done, I can see the frustration and agitation in the style you worded it. Though, I would try to at least change the flow of things, make it look less messy.
Like the intro, for example...
You don't see how annoyed
I am?
Maybe this would work to your fancy:
Don't you see
The annoyance blooming
Reddening my cheeks
It was only an idea, because style is always one to portray sort of wealth in mind. However, I suppose that is all based on the person, and not all of us can be of the same label.
Nonetheless, I enjoyed reading, so thank you for sharing!
Submission Name: Time to Give Shit
