Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: An Approachdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Erreur
    ASL Info:    20 / M / Canada
    Elite Ratio:    7.32 - 19/25/14
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 514
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 731



    Description:
       I can't decide if it is done... You should tell me if it is...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAn Approachdots
    -------------------------------------------


    People chat, and dance
    They carry on happy
    Late into the cool evening

    You can’t enjoy it
    Instead you feel trapped in there
    Some elusive ache holds you

    However, you hide
    The feelings of sadness
    As old friends approach

    You’re told a secret
    Thus far your tongue stays still
    It wouldn’t know what to do

    For you can’t command it
    You don’t know what you feel
    Your passion emaciates

    The things you once knew
    Have faded and twisted
    Under the thoughts of others

    You’re mind has hallowed
    Unable to create
    You’re an echolalia




    Submitted on 2013-09-09 23:27:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You should really listen to the song "echolalia" by dead can dance. You might find yourself in the echoing madness. On a side note, I used to say only animals are mad, and therefore it is only them who can be victims of madness - because humans are crazy. But now that I live in rapacity (swallow that second a and replace it with an E, if you feel me), I can't help but think the distinction between MAN and beast was but a foolish folly.

    In other news, unless you're under the influence of some drogue dure, you're definitely the one holding yourself back. You can blame your friends all you want, or the gravity of nothingness (which, I know, I know, it's hard to believe, but actually does have a gravitational pull). But ultimately you are the one who chooses your limits.

    Just like you decide when you are done with being sick. Also, add more cliché lines like "falling to pieces" please.
    | Posted on 2013-09-10 00:00:00 | by Outlaw | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197853

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    prison written by ShyOne
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Love written by saartha
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by ShyOne
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Carry written by saartha
    Fasade written by jackz
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry