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    dots Submission Name: One Daydots

    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 75
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 825
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 564


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOne Daydots

    One September day
    time was lucid
    change illusive
    love was something else

    One September day
    silence was peace
    Hope lost
    love was something else

    It was something else..

    Like the panorama of lights in the northern sky
    I'll never see..
    Or the fluidity of rain going to earth
    down to the seas
    to the soil
    to my cheek
    You'll never see..

    It was something else..

    was another September day...

    Submitted on 2013-09-18 21:19:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like it , as all poems to be great it needs work. poe
    | Posted on 2013-09-23 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]
      this was good. the ending was great. i dont really like nitpicking other peoples work, and yet even if i were to theres nothing here i would change.

    | Posted on 2013-09-22 00:00:00 | by kase | [ Reply to This ]
      My comment is a little abstract. Hopefully you get my meaning. If not I can try and explain it better :)
    | Posted on 2013-09-21 00:00:00 | by lolaxelmo | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the circular feel of this poem. It's fun to see and feel the author or the speaker pondering and seeing the thought process as the speaker tries to work through "It was something else." In the end it's just "another September day" seems like a pretty profound idea. The speaker has realized that he/she is the one who put all the weight on the "It was something else." The idea only existed in the person's mind, but now you've stretched to other people through the poem!

    Neat idea, and you presented it very well.
    | Posted on 2013-09-21 00:00:00 | by lolaxelmo | [ Reply to This ]

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