Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Pit dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: siroez
    ASL Info:    27/Male/WV
    Elite Ratio:    5.23 - 101/87/44
    Words: 310
    Class/Type: Poetry/I am dead inside
    Total Views: 1010
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1950



    Description:
       This is a poem of sorts about a place where my soul is kept. Unable to pass to the next life, unable to die, I am tormented with pain of all kinds.

    This version is just a draft. I kinda rushed throwing it all together. I was bored.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Pit dots
    -------------------------------------------





    Heated exchange of air both cool and warm
    presses together and leaves me convex.
    Within the chalice I yet again scrape the side.
    webbed in patterns of pain, it could be no less.

    I squirm, to try and free myself from the torture
    that is the intense lament of my heart.
    Thoughts of eternal darkness, and feelings of
    a pain that shall never pass, in whole, or part..

    They repeat seemingly without end.

    To a deity, unknown, I have been enslaved.
    Endless human suffering within it's glass.
    Here the unredeemed are alive and kept.
    suspended from they're souls, unable to pass.

    Gurgling screams, Tormented shrieking,
    Those who are trapped plea for death.
    Feces fall and linger forth slothfully down.
    In defeat we wish to give up our final breath.

    Here I am placed for my mistakes and evils.
    There is no rest, just a constant tossing and turning.
    A constant grinding and nulling in my mind.
    Pleasant thoughts and dreams, are but a yearning...

    I am teased by the wildest of my fantasies,
    with a refusal to kill myself in the place of imprisonment.
    For the temptation of fulfillment weighs my soul.
    It keeps me restricted unable to move, like cement.

    For the promise of new life, is the bait to keep me alive.
    The pain of never acquiring the freedom, the punishment.
    I have tried like the others to pass, but here I remain.
    Where I must endure until I am broken and spent.

    The sun comes out and touches my skin.
    Resembling truth, it is warm and bright.
    This place of torment where I am, it just a place,
    just a place where my soul is kept, by everything I know, in spite.

    ...and then, I remember one day I could be free.




    Submitted on 2013-09-25 16:41:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Does the soul have anything to do with the body incarnate? Are they intrinsically endemic to each other? This poem reminds me of the concept of original sin. Do my ancestors project their guilt onto me? Individually totalitarian structural forms to my imagination's enigma entity. Hum,............guilt! My atrociously impetuous impudence to me truly. I find this obstinate tenacity somewhat sinful in that it almost denies my fellow humans their original sin. Nonetheless I resemble! What's to humanitarian instincts say. But I don't want to be the reason your swirling at the bottom of the bowl instead of climbing to freedom. Your hopes of redemption to me. Are you really so heinous that you have no hope against the outrageous indignation. Consider the rationale of even nowness, is there no sanctity to be found in your impromptu innuendo juncture? I guess some people do get stuck with the bailiff's rakeness rails. And yet the criminal mind still yearns for freedom, diabolically maniacal dementia, brusque macabre abrupt. I say grab this tool firmly in hand and get down. A little bit of decadent arrogance on that blatant flagrance for you, surely you can get away with that, to which I say inane inert inertia innate and all the rest of that fire and brimstone!

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2013-09-25 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197915

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Stretto written by saartha
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Incubus written by monad
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Genesis written by saartha
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry