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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Innocencedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: deadpoet
    ASL Info:    18/f/ Miami, Fl
    Elite Ratio:    3.12 - 44/66/27
    Words: 190
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 277
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1185



    Description:
       Just a poem tell me what you think about it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInnocencedots
    -------------------------------------------



    There is only one truth about our lives,
    One that we seem to be blind to,
    Since we are flightless birds bounded to others,
    and the puppets under others's command.

    We have no thought of our own,
    As our first breath of life is taken,
    For we are taken under our ancestors,
    and forced to be that way.

    Society seems to blow us,
    towards the North, East, West, or South,
    And pretty soon when we reach that place,
    We'll be accomplishing others's desires.

    We are captured by the chains of people,
    Ones who change who we are,
    And skew us in one direction,
    And try to blow us far.

    Every second you blink,
    Your eyes behold a new perspective,
    As those eyes of yours oberve a new world,
    And see only what it is taught to see.

    We seem to travel a boat to the Heaven's over that horizon,
    But the wounding words of others create those hazardous waves,
    And if we learn to close our eyes and become blind to the world around us,
    You shall now know that you have been saved...




    Submitted on 2004-08-04 12:42:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    1: >_<
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hmmm...I tend to disagree with the premise that we are only pawns at the hands of others. I'm not denying that it is true of some people and of some countries, in fact (some of the nations where the words of a corrupt leader brainwashes the people against a certain gender or race or nation so that they follow blindly what they have been told, but know no better)

    But here in the US...and again, I'm not saying there are not those that are this way, (that kind of generalization can only be erronious) but at least here we are not prosecuted for having original thought and pursuing our own pleasures and ways of behavior and beliefs.

    But, as Isaiah said, you did a fine job of capturing your thoughts eloquently here.
    | Posted on 2004-08-04 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very interesting yet somewhat confusing piece. I think you could make some of the line more clear. I wish I could be more specific, but you know what you want say, and probably know how to make it more effective. I really like that last stanza. The first line might need to be broken into two seperate thoughts though. I enjoyed this, and I hope you revise.
    | Posted on 2004-08-04 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      To tell you how I relate to this poem I would have to quote the entire thing back to you. Great job of capturing you emotions and putting them to words. great technique and usage of your vocabulary. keep them coming.
    | Posted on 2004-08-04 00:00:00 | by isaiahc4 | [ Reply to This ]



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