Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dissolve (working title)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rev.jpfadeproof
    ASL Info:    27/m/nyc
    Elite Ratio:    6.14 - 366/359/149
    Words: 45
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 459
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 528



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDissolve (working title)dots
    -------------------------------------------



    the basil withers-

    it shatters in these sun scorched
    hands
    that hold you;

    ribosomes swell like the ocean-
    i lick salty foam,

    molecule
    by
    molecule

    i
    fleck
    and dis
                             solve

    on the tongue of Aphrodite-




    Submitted on 2013-10-09 10:32:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Your use of salt as a description is realm interesting to me. I like this. I like what rws had to say. Other than really enjoying this unique piece I wouldn't have much to add. Thank you for sharing.
    | Posted on 2015-08-29 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      You seem to suggest that love is a dry husk in your hands; something with residual flavor (like salt) but nothing that can sustain health or satisfy the appetite alone. Was it your purpose to scatter the syllables as if they were pinches of ingredients?

    At least those are my thoughts on your thoughts.
    | Posted on 2013-10-12 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Sweet. I don't know why but I liked this :) maybe it was all the sciency words lol
    | Posted on 2013-10-11 00:00:00 | by Teofila | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    198024

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Records I written by Raphael
    The World written by jjd
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    Carry written by saartha
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Cover written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry