Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: this is how you lose herdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 156
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 836
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1029



    Description:
       Inspired by the book of the same title by Diaz


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthis is how you lose herdots
    -------------------------------------------


    She was not your first love
    The one you carry in a secret pocket
    She won't break your heart
    Nor take a risk of taking it
    She was only passing by
    A tourist with bohemian dress
    Not to fit your liking

    So when she said "I love you"
    With aching soundwaves
    Grasped by the warm air
    Your silent breathing desolate
    She stayed calm,owning every hope
    Swirled by her parting breathes
    And that is when she learned about silence
    How it cuts like blades
    Like grass
    Like a soft breeze
    Like promises
    Like your eyes

    One of these days
    Her scent will remain in your landmark
    In every places she has been to
    She keeps in the flipping pages of her mind
    She will send you a postcard while you sip your coffee
    One ordinary morning
    And you won't see the words she said
    This is how you lose her...








    Submitted on 2013-10-14 01:19:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow. I really like this one..Ive been there one too many times and know someone who is there right now, it makes me cringe to watch it happen. nice work
    | Posted on 2014-10-10 00:00:00 | by SetmyselfonFire | [ Reply to This ]
      This is just a too true story
    and I so know this part of it

    And that is when she learned about silence
    How it cuts like blades
    Like grass
    Like a soft breeze
    Like promises
    Like your eyes

    Its like no other pain
    it is unique
    | Posted on 2013-10-21 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      Extremely well written. I especially like that postcard/coffee line. Makes me think about how things are lost from simple ignorance or lack of observation or selfishness.

    I really enjoyed this. I'm kind of ashamed to admit that I like this, soully because I can relate so much to the character not thinking about his actions repercussions. But anyways, damn fine work. Please continue writing.
    | Posted on 2013-10-21 00:00:00 | by Zai | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    198050

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry