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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Candiddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nolram
    ASL Info:    29/M
    Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 58/61/33
    Words: 636
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 612
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3574



    Description:
       Basically a journal entry right here...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCandiddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I know it was just fucking
    And you like to do that with all your friends of both sexes apparently
    I am not judging
    In fact I not only respect and appreciate it
    I felt perhaps we were kindered spirits
    I thought I would be one of the few that was more than a number on your list of brief encounters
    I thought I was your lover
    I thought I was the one you would come back to over and over until we grew old
    I didn't care about your other lovers
    I didn't really want to know about them
    But I didn't mind
    Because I thought we were more
    You always called me in the middle of the night when you needed help before we were ever together
    You were always there in the background since I started on my path that will lead me to my destiny
    It hasn't been long
    But I know I'll still be thinking about you if I live to 100 years old
    Goddammit
    You don't know what you meant to me
    Then you tell me we are just buddy's
    After you joked about wanting my babies
    you asked what I was about, the types of questions you ask when you want to be with someone
    I answered honestly
    I thought that was the only thing to do
    I am damaged and I am working class and I get jealous and I get angry
    yes I seem less macho than traditional knucklehead males
    a lot of what you joke about me is accurate, but so is what I tell you
    I know you were digging me deep down, you like a knucklehead
    I am that plus I am conscious, refined and evolved,
    Everything about us makes sense but I guess I must be wrong since you told me there is someone else.
    I guess you don't really know me and you never will
    You didn't give me enough of a chance
    I should have taken your constant ribbing about who I am seriously
    you see me as a joke
    You like a leader of men, an alpha, a macho this, an aggressive that
    It confused you when you started seeing those qualities in me
    But I played it too cool in the beginning, in the middle, in the end
    I always play it too cool
    I talk about all my problems and how I am a wreck inside but when it comes to romance, I play it super cool
    I acted like I didn't care at all
    I was scared
    Scared of rejection
    Scared of the lack of love I have lived with since I was born
    You tell me I'm gonna meet your guy your partner or whatever because you respect me and he is awesome and we should all meet and I should appreciate your love
    Well I got news for you
    I don't care who he is
    I don't want to know him
    I don't want to meet him
    I already told you it doesn't matter
    I guess there is no we, and if there was it wasn;t based in anything
    Because I felt our bond growing that night
    that last night we were together
    And then when I lost interest I felt it ebbing
    and in the morning I was insecure I acted very aloof
    I was angry at myself
    you probably thought I wasn't interest
    You thought I didn't care, I would assume
    My feelings for you could turn the whole situation pretty damn ugly if I am to keep acting casual about the situation and I am to meet this new fool
    I don't care that you see other people
    But I want you to know, I am the real deal, and I wasn't just a number






    Submitted on 2013-10-15 06:38:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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