Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Deathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Teofila
    ASL Info:    17, F, with the wolves
    Elite Ratio:    0.48 - 210/102/70
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 415
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 721



    Description:
       *sigh......*


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Death whispers in my ear
    Always urging me to come near
    Just a couple more pills
    To take the pain away
    Just a couple more cuts
    To relieve the stress
    It's all in vain
    Just a temporary solution
    Another roll in Deaths' game
    I can still hear him
    Whispering my name
    Death calls to me
    With his voice so sweet
    I am so close
    Just a couple more feet
    I'm closer
    Than I've ever been
    I know
    I'm slowly dying
    Does anybody
    Know this feeling?
    So close now
    Just a little more
    Here real soon
    I will be knockin'
    On Deaths' door...




    Submitted on 2013-10-16 21:46:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You can definately feel the sadness in this piece. Its a good write.
    | Posted on 2013-10-26 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]
      You can definately feel the sadness in this piece. Its a good write.
    | Posted on 2013-10-26 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]
      Generally I don't like poems like this, but with 'Death' I have little complaint. There's a theme of overall despair to the piece, so I like how the words start to dwindle away at the end. I think we've all been sucked into a sort of depression like this before. It's a nice piece, but nothing pops out and really grabs my interest.
    | Posted on 2013-10-22 00:00:00 | by KotaNashi | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    198065

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    AI written by poetotoe
    Every..... written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Fasade written by jackz
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Summer written by layDsayD
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Push written by JanePlane
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry