Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: expiring_touch
ASL Info:    30/f/Hamburg
Elite Ratio:    3.94 - 139 /256 /171
Words: 93
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1216
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 589



Why does it hurt me so much? Or better – why does it linger,
Fermenting between the folds of my consciousness, resurrecting.
I wake up, slowly,
slowly to the unforgiving glare of a new day.
and it’s not just my shoulders
that feel discomfort
Because the aircon has been turned too low
And there’s no hiding from it in my small room.
I stumble from my bed, where my body is sprawled
Diagonally. Because I’m Russian and I like to expropriate
all the spaces that had once been yours.

Submitted on 2013-10-23 11:15:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  This captures perfectly the groggy regret felt on a morning when you almost wish you just didn't wake up. Too tired to carry on, too stubborn to give up. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!
| Posted on 2013-10-25 00:00:00 | by TheSnoitart | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?