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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Your Celestial Bodydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lebeauvide
    ASL Info:    24/F
    Elite Ratio:    2.29 - 75/295/165
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 566
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 653



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYour Celestial Bodydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I want to reach out
    and be able to touch you,
    to hear the sizzle of my fingers
    against your flesh
    as they make contact
    and fuse together-
    Becoming one celestial body.

    You burn so brightly,
    I don't think that I could
    ever dare to hold you.
    The very sight of you,
    haloed in your own glory,
    makes me feel so much
    greater than I truly am.

    You are a vast universe
    trapped inside of a clockwork body,
    but in those winding eyes,
    I have never seen such
    a great
    and terrible
    beauty.




    Submitted on 2013-10-27 23:53:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Or is this about finding god, and this sizzle is touching the flesh of a sinner? That the person in question is caught up in hubris?

    I like that there are so many levels to this.
    | Posted on 2013-11-05 00:00:00 | by Passionbyapathy | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh my, this one really speaks.

    In the first stanza I really like the "sizzle of my fingers against your flesh", it conveys the pulse of the trace and the onomatopoeia of the metaphor really well. Celestial body huh? Lofty expectations but fits great with the rest of the stanza. Like to assume its another metaphor for something more intimate.

    The second speaks so softly... so true. You admire them with such affection that you don't think you deserve them, and their aura makes you feel whole or even something beyond it.

    I love the references to vast universes and clockwork bodies. I feel like you're implying that the person is too expansive to be chained to a rigid life... and that chaos is the comfort in his eyes.

    This write will get a favorite. Thank you for putting it up for all to see.
    | Posted on 2013-11-05 00:00:00 | by Passionbyapathy | [ Reply to This ]


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