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    dots Submission Name: Found Soul in Your Armsdots

    Author: ForgottenGraves
    ASL Info:    20, Male
    Elite Ratio:    0.46 - 5/116/131
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 565
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 783


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    dotsFound Soul in Your Armsdots

    Open your arms.
    Close you eyes,
    And i will walk into you warm welcome.
    I will melt into your arms.
    Whisper in my ear..
    That you love me..
    You will then have saved that boy..
    That boy that you saw before.
    The one that was all alone.
    The one corrupted by darkness.
    He is now filled..
    Filled with light.
    He is forever grateful.
    Do this.
    Set this boy free.
    He will forever be happy after.
    No matter what happens.
    This is his cry for help..
    My cry for help...
    Do me this one favor..
    And i promise i will be happy..
    You can be the one..
    The one to find this soul..
    And hold it tight in your arms..

    Submitted on 2013-10-29 21:40:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is an earnest plea. It's more like shaped prose than poetry... Though both can be poetic in the right context.

    You obviously care deeply for someone. You aren't sure what direction to take it in?

    To hold him and keep him, or love him and leave him? Or... it seems like you want to give him up to someone?

    Or does he want a thrill at an expense?


    Or is it a religious reference to finding and loving god?


    Or is the boy someone who is struggling with his identity and you aren't sure the best way to help him?

    The write is rough, but there is a lot of real content there. Try to work on creating some pace through repetition... you have repeat themes, build on them. Lots of potential... but a tough read. I hope you are alright and that everything works out for the best. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can message me on here and I'll reply when I can.

    Thank you for the read.
    | Posted on 2013-11-05 00:00:00 | by Passionbyapathy | [ Reply to This ]

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