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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Heart Songdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Teofila
    ASL Info:    17, F, with the wolves
    Elite Ratio:    0.48 - 210/102/70
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 421
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 624



    Description:
       I just got bored...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHeart Songdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Everybody has one
    Fast or slow
    Maybe even
    A little bit of both
    When you least expect it
    It comes to your mind
    Your heart song
    Oh so divine
    Unique to you
    Because no one else knows
    How beautifully
    Your heart song flows
    The rhythm is perfect
    And the tune is just right
    Sometimes I lie
    Awake at night
    Just waiting
    For my next heart song
    To come into sight...
    And then
    Ever so slowly
    It takes flight
    That beautiful sound
    That continues
    All through the night....




    Submitted on 2013-11-01 13:42:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I've read a few of your other works, but I think that this one is my favorite by far. It's universal and completely relatable, but at the same time an individualized experience and totally unique to the reader. Nobody's got the same heart, after all. Well done. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!
    | Posted on 2013-11-03 00:00:00 | by TheSnoitart | [ Reply to This ]
      I've read a few of your other works, but I think that this one is my favorite by far. It's universal and completely relatable, but at the same time an individualized experience and totally unique to the reader. Nobody's got the same heart, after all. Well done. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!
    | Posted on 2013-11-03 00:00:00 | by TheSnoitart | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the feeling you describe, and I like the way you go about it. The words you use, rhythm, flow, tone etc, go a long way in this piece cause they're related to the music theme. My favorite part is the heart beat music idea, but the subject is passion. (I feel like I sound like a teacher)

    As far as constructive criticism goes, I think it would read a little easier without a comma at the end of every line. To me, a new line signifies a new line, nothing else. A comma signifies a pause. So it read a little broken up for me.

    But feel free to ignore whatever you want I still liked it. And I'm still happy that I read it.
    | Posted on 2013-11-02 00:00:00 | by Zai | [ Reply to This ]


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