This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Empty Apartment

Author: SweetAndOhSoME
ASL Info:    17/f/Here
Elite Ratio:    8 - 300 /112 /77
Words: 82
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1367
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 602


Ahhhh. Poetry...never my strong suit.

Empty Apartment

Silent in this chilly room
Bundled up in memories,
and a jacket,
Black like my mood.
Too quiet here
Alone in my self made tomb,
Emptiness stretching out like centuries.
Stomp another cigarette butt
As I sit and brood,
Thinking interaction might be the cure.

In reality, I understand
that this lonely
Is of my own desire.
Surrounded by people,
This emptiness wouldn't mend.
Friend, in name only,
Give me a passionate night before I retire,
Alone again and feeble.

Submitted on 2013-11-06 03:38:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  wow for someone who say poetry isn't a strong suit of yours you did a nice job here. I could feel the words on the page, full of a lot of emotion! Flowed nicely not too long not too short. Very nice thank you for posting

| Posted on 2014-01-03 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
  This is very nice and it shows that you not only do grasp
What poetry is all about but have also begun developing
The skills that enable a poet to express the concrete and abstract as a
As a unique and unified whole.
| Posted on 2013-12-25 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the title empty apartment. It's to the point and the title is the poem. As I read this I could see you sitting in that room, brooding, I felt like I was in the room watching the poem play out.

I like the part "alone in my self made tomb" it says a lot about the specifics of how you feel and how you want to feel. It's like stating to the reader that you are not here in this chilly room by chance or fate. You decided to be here, to be that person and yet you realize that you might want more.

"Thinking interaction might be the cure" is another one of my fav phrases.

and I like "give me a passionate night before I retire" and I feel like this is more of a plea to the gods, to the universe, to whoever is watching and you turn from being in control and making the decision to be in that room, in that empty apartment alone to someone who desires to make a connection, to meet people, to feel something new but who refuses to admit it, and only admits it in the dark and chilly room.

Thanks for a good read. It goes well the weather I'm having today... It's pouring out..
| Posted on 2013-11-06 00:00:00 | by ladydeathstrike | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?