Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Sashimi Cigarette


Author: Kael Fenshir
ASL Info:    26 / M / That weird place
Elite Ratio:    2.18 - 17 /57 /52
Words: 53
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1326
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 473



Description:




Sashimi Cigarette



Mid-morning soup
Underwater sushi gloop
Tin cup filled with sand
Questionable motives found by the cleaning man

Foreign-filled culture shock
Time bomb ticking clock
Bedhead morning chase
California's saving face

Crackin' wild jokes
Eighteen, I've been puffin' smokes
Through a diary of mad thoughts
Laughin' 'cause now I'm caught





Submitted on 2013-11-13 01:11:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This sounds really personal. Like only you really know the references. Which is cool I can dig that. I enjoy reading your work, the mixture of personality and thought process and I would suppose somewhat of a timeline or process of events makes for an abstract work or works that I quite like.
| Posted on 2015-07-04 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



198237