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    dots Submission Name: Inspireddots

    Author: CourtneyLynne
    ASL Info:    23/female/Washington
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 74/70/56
    Words: 311
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 486
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1925

       I am at a point where i am reawakening from a long and dismal hibernation. bear with me while i find my voice again.

    this is actually two poems ( or rather free writes, less poems since they lack the proper structure.) , but they corresponded well, so i decided to post them both together. i am open to input, but at this point these are unpolished works.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Crisp kisses under white moonlight,
    Hard lines and cold fingers touching,
    Hoping for just a breath of warmth
    How can two cold souls make fire
    When in our hearts there is only ice
    Left over from that frozen wasteland
    Called heartbreak
    There is no return of that wildfire
    That once burned so fiercely for us.
    Where once we danced to delicious moments
    Trapped in time by sensual silence,
    Our words on paper so short and fragile
    Delicate and hot, soft and sweet
    Tense touch shaking and sweating
    No skin unbared by the ideas we shared.
    For there is nothing like to find your mind in her
    And know there is nothing to do
    but to destroy yourself to preserve
    that beauty you once saw in another.

    For if I had to inspire, I would be lost.
    The damned don’t seek inspiration, but release.
    I am already released, uninhibited by the flaws I tried to sort
    Categorize into neat piles in neat rows,
    So that maybe if they were pretty I could be pretty too.
    But I am the sum of my parts
    And parts of me are not whole at all
    Holes in which the darkness of the world seeps through,
    Slithering seeping in like snakes and sadness
    And all the good in me struggles to stay afloat
    Among the mire of misplaced intentions and bad judgement.
    Who am I to inspire with the wasted years and endless empty promises
    Broken records skipping in a beat I have learned to dance to quite well.
    Again, again, again I convince myself that everything will turn out
    When does this record end, does it ever?
    It never does.
    Why then, don’t I seek my own inspiration?
    That would mean admitting that my own flaws,
    So neatly sorted,
    Are real and more than the sum of my being.

    Submitted on 2013-11-13 07:49:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Well, it may seem like an oversimplification but I try to be pragmatically practical. I have anxieties and things I fail at but like I said I'm animal. Somehow this should come first. I don't believe and try not to let mental problems come first. Sure we all strive for solutions to our quandaries, to improve our personalities, to find enjoyment in who we think we are, and I know this sounds hackneyed but you can't let these things control your attitude completely. Sure they must affect you but we must carry on. If you let such things get you they will mess with your ability to be cognizant and effective. I play games with my sub-conscious and try to apply organizational principals to its vagaries. Strange as it might seem this seems to help with my mental acuity. I don't know if this helps at all but you asked.

    | Posted on 2013-11-13 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      It's difficult sometimes, to really find the balance between self assessment and self destruction. I know that on a daily basis i try very hard to build myself and others up, but there is always my subconsious there trying to convince me i am never good enough, despite my successes.

    How do you battle yourself?
    | Posted on 2013-11-13 00:00:00 | by CourtneyLynne | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you've got your identity crisis all wrong. First and foremost we are animals. Granted we are also sentient beings, many of us with overactive intellects. You say you count your flaws but you don't pay heed to the most major one. Allowing your mind to convince you your not happy….unworthy somehow. Self assessment is a powerful tool. We all could benefit from it. but lets not assess ourselves into submission but rather find inspiration. Perhaps then we could inspire someone else who's considering self deprecation. nuf said??

    | Posted on 2013-11-13 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]

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