Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: RequiemOfDreams
ASL Info:    20/M/NJ
Elite Ratio:    3.5 - 97 /140 /38
Words: 205
Class/Type: Poetry /Venting
Total Views: 1937
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1324


Venting of ideals such as freedom.


Lusty lips, oh and arrousing grin
Beautiful strands, oh and nice hair
Your stance is sleek and thin,
Complementing your shapely body,
I see all that you bare, you bare all

Who are you to judge me?
To say I've committed a crime
A crime never played out in time
Mental intrusion is mental rape

Figure struck wide, I can see all inside!
Stunning, glamorous- a thousand words...
Call me an a rapist for my thoughts
of intrusion, I call you a rapist-
For mind intrusion

For what is imagination if not dreams?
Dreams to be sought, dreams to be won...
A kind of reluctance hits me as I imagine
Those things I want... those things I need...
Those who love. wish to be loved,
Loneliness changes people, perhaps
I can pretend to be happy...
If anyone wants to judge me for such,
Please judge me for death- because
obviously the lonely don't have feelings...

Perhaps I am not lonely, I love art...
Perhaps I hate art, I love pleasure...
Perhaps I am just a simple man,
A simple man with a simple plan
Judge me for death- but in the end,
You're juding me for my right of freedom

Submitted on 2004-08-04 15:42:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  hmmm okay this one was a bit hard to follow...but i'm going to take a shot at are saying you have the right to view porn and enjoy it? if so I say true that true that...

what throws this off is the just doesnt need to be there...I'm also not too sure of the rhyming in it either...but this is the first piece of yours i've read so that just might be your own personal style...

I also thought the fourth stanza to just be completely left field...meaning I dont see how it fits into the rest of the muse. was interesting...

Tina Elite's ghetto ballerina...
| Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
  i like your idea here... judging ppls rights of freedom... and the idea that they can be called rapists too... theres always two sides to every coin and no one ever usually see's the other side of the coin theyre on... good write
| Posted on 2004-08-07 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked this!
Your last six lines i LOVED! Wow! So many people with so many conclusions on just one single topic...maybe it is about porn, maybe it's about the struggle of feeling like you're the porn object in someone else's mind, maybe we're all crazed porn addicts and just don't know it yet, and why is porn such an arguing touchy subject? I loved your poem none the less
| Posted on 2004-08-05 00:00:00 | by Cydsecret | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a play on the saying "the pot calling the kettle black"
It's a bit wordy and oddly shapen.
I think if you came back to the poem after cooling off awhile, you might find a few lines you could shorten or re write. Consider this one

"Call me an a rapist for my thoughts
of instrusion, I call you a rapist-
For mind instrusion"

*If you call me a rapist for thoughts of intrustion aren't you guilty at once
of the same?*

And I'm sure there are those here who with more thought could refine it down even better than that.

It's a grand idea and one that obviously lights a fire under you. I follow your logic, I agree with your argument. Good luck with it.
| Posted on 2004-08-04 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
  Couldn't help but wonder... was this a rebuttal, a response to Ang's poem by the same name? Heh... are you two in cahoots, writing a "he said-she said", pro vs. con, back and forth poetry? just trying to get a rise out of us all? ;-)
Anyways, back to the poem.. I think this was pretty interesting and your point comes across well in it. We cannot help what we think, what comes into your minds because it's our nature. but, we CAN control what we do, how we act and behave. One can have a fleeting thought enter thier conscious and then either entertain it or immediately dispatch it based on one's morals. But we cannot help that it entered inthe first place, and should not be condemned for that. At least, that's what I gather you rmessage is.
| Posted on 2004-08-04 00:00:00 | by timberwolf720 | [ Reply to This ]
  If it is moral or not is not the question. I never even alluded to pornography once in the entire writing except the title. And as anyone who has read a piece such as Elizabeth's- the title doesn't matter. Many writings by many classic authors simply don't have titles, or the title is formed from the first line in the writing. I didn't write this to in no way respond to your poem equally titled "Porn". However I thought and decided as the author of this writing that no other word would better exemplify and perhaps even arrouse suspicion of my piece.
| Posted on 2004-08-04 00:00:00 | by RequiemOfDreams | [ Reply to This ]
  i think that what this means is that we can do whatever we want and think whatever we want and its ok. We all want to make excuses to make ourselves feel better about the things we do in our life. I think uve fallen into the trap that society feeds us that we can do these things and its ok. (( why not they're the ones making the $$$ for it))... i pity u because u seem to be so blind to the reality of it all. the poem just continues to make u feel better for doing it and it defends porn. i think the poem should be called "Superficial" because thats what it makes u seem like, a very superficial person. U write of dreams but all u basically say is i want to look at what i think attractive, nude people. keep convincing urself that its morally acceptable to do things such as pose for porn or read it, watch whatever u do with it, whatever helps u sleep at night.

we've polluted the world with profanity and pornography and have called it freedom of speech.

in a society where everything goes, eventually everything will.
| Posted on 2004-08-04 00:00:00 | by Ang | [ Reply to This ]
  I think it is better than other poems i read so far. I think you are good with comparing two parts. Probably got more hits because of the title.
| Posted on 2004-08-04 00:00:00 | by sjayant | [ Reply to This ]
  Thank you- I love you. You captured the true essence of anything I've ever argued before. We cannot control our minds- why should we be judged for it? In George Orwell's 1984 the main character Winston realized that he was no longer living. He stated that once you commited a crime thought- you were the walking dead.

The walking dead because you cannot always hide your thoughts- and in that world- thought crimes was punishable by vaporization. That meant you were destroyed and all records of you were altered... for thinking even just a truly individual thought- like "I dislike the gov't."
| Posted on 2004-08-04 00:00:00 | by RequiemOfDreams | [ Reply to This ]
  i have to say that i was a little confused i think that i got the same thing out of it as emo-tastic
i think that you need to work on the flow a little it was a little hard to read at least for me. but this was intoresting no the less. lia
| Posted on 2004-08-04 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]
  Hmm... interesting choice to use porn for this comparison. I guess you're saying that one shouldn't be condemned for their thoughts or dreams, as long as the bad ones are not acted upon. Or, I could be looking way too deep into this, and it's just a poem about porn. Enlighten me.
| Posted on 2004-08-04 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?