i feel SO ANGRY,
and i dont even know why...
is there something wrong with me?
i suppose that is a rhetorical question, i already know that there IS indeed many things WRONG with me,
but is THIS one of them?
who am i asking?! myself?! god?! the fucking devil maybe?!
im just staring at the sky SCREAMING up at the heavens BEGGING the stars for an answer,
but there is no answer,
i will never find peace!!
i LONG for so many things in this life, LOVE, AFFECTION, UNDERSTANDING, COMPANIONSHIP, RESPECT, SOLACE,
these things seem so far out of reach..
but why?! why must they be?! its not fair and it makes no sense!
i cheat myself, with self loathing and doubt, irrational thoughts that ARE NOT MY OWN!!
yet they SPRING forth inside my head like demons out of the darkness,
i am not wicked, yet i do wicked things only 2 find myself on my knees begging god for forgiveness,
what does this mean?! i am so confused, all i see is MADNESS on the horizon and BLOOD dripping down with the setting sun,
SCREAMS of anguish and tormented terrors gather and DEVOUR my soul like RAVENOUS beasts inside the pit,