Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Imperfect Rhymedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Zai
    ASL Info:    24/m/US
    Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 66/145/98
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 813
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 878



    Description:
       First draft. I really like the idea behind it. I'm not sure about the stand alone hall of mirrors line, though.

    I think I'm going to fiddle with this some more, see what else I can come up with, another day. What should I expand on? Am I missing a piece? Should I give more personal descriptors (like physically/passions/ etc)?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsImperfect Rhymedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am unique, just kept in perspective.
    The things I do have been done before.
    I've made things from a hundred years ago.
    My entire life is the sum of an imperfect rhyme,
    perfectly placed off to the side.
    This very line has been written before,
    read before, sung before,
    far before even my first breath was born.
    I am nothing but another image in a hall of mirrors.
    Far be it for me to claim ungodly uniqueness,
    I'm merely trying to see with the clearest senses.

    Judge me by my pretenses.
    Force me to grow.
    Starve me of water.
    Shorten Life's sentence.
    I will cross a line,
    imperfect rhyme,
    just kept in perspective.
    There is nothing I am that another is not.
    But no one alive has the combination I've unlocked.




    Submitted on 2013-11-26 01:04:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this. A lot. In fact, I'm favoriting it as soon as I finish this comment. It's really something I think about a lot, how we never really do anything completely new and original- just re-do all the old stuff in new and original ways. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!
    | Posted on 2013-12-04 00:00:00 | by TheSnoitart | [ Reply to This ]
      Once asked how much of a short story of mine I had written I responded, "all of it of course!". ;)
    | Posted on 2013-11-27 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    198307

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    This written by Chelebel
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Linger written by saartha
    Bond written by saartha
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    To written by SavedDragon
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Giving written by jjd
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Wavelength written by saartha
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry