Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The World On Her Shouldersdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TeslaKoyal
    Elite Ratio:    1.8 - 19/66/85
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 307
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 366



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe World On Her Shouldersdots
    -------------------------------------------


    And there lies the world on her shoulders
    She dies but yet the world does not
    Do they really care
    Were they really there
    Or was it all fake
    A lie a crime not fair
    No, no one would share a life with her
    And so she died
    Alone
    All alone
    And yet the world keeps turning
    Still on her shoulders




    Submitted on 2013-12-14 01:36:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      NEVER NEVER start out writing with AND lol
    Edit ** their lays the world on her shoulders *example*

    i would love to see more depth and word flow
    id give this a 3/5
    | Posted on 2013-12-18 00:00:00 | by kyserin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    198413

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    The Promise written by annie0888
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Giving written by jjd
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Wavelength written by saartha
    To written by SavedDragon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Break Up written by WriteSomething

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry