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Tortured sleep™©


Author: kyserin
ASL Info:    30's/Female/ohio
Elite Ratio:    3.64 - 44 /25 /55
Words: 67
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 879
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 416



Description:




Tortured sleep™©



Tortured sleep™©

Torture me , my undying soul
left alone , a hollow whole
a broken key , left in a locket
pictures of memories ,
fading fast , a dormant
sleep re-awaken , eyes
closed yet , wide open
you'll never know , what you
meant to me , i'll just remember
you while i dream

™©




Submitted on 2013-12-17 16:05:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  @RWS

im good one the word flow and word play
Format i know i need to work on
im not exactly a pro but im not an novice

i guess i would be and intermediate lvl
i was writing since high school lost my muse
or inspiration so i stopped writing

but here i am again writing so something found me
but Crits really do help
:) least i know what steps to take to surpass it

| Posted on 2013-12-19 00:00:00 | by kyserin | [ Reply to This ]
  Torture me , my undying soul
left alone , a hollow whole
a broken key , left in a locket
pictures of memories ,
fading fast , a dormant
sleep re-awaken , eyes
closed yet , wide open
you'll never know , what you
meant to me , i'll just remember
you while i dream

Other than a few spelling mistakes, this is a fairly clear-eyed spiral into misery. I think that it certainly could benefit from some formatting tweaks, but I'll leave that to you.

Bill
| Posted on 2013-12-19 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


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