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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tortured sleep™©dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kyserin
    ASL Info:    30's/Female/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.67 - 44/25/52
    Words: 67
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 387
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 404



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTortured sleep™©dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tortured sleep™©

    Torture me , my undying soul
    left alone , a hollow whole
    a broken key , left in a locket
    pictures of memories ,
    fading fast , a dormant
    sleep re-awaken , eyes
    closed yet , wide open
    you'll never know , what you
    meant to me , i'll just remember
    you while i dream

    ™©




    Submitted on 2013-12-17 16:05:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      @RWS

    im good one the word flow and word play
    Format i know i need to work on
    im not exactly a pro but im not an novice

    i guess i would be and intermediate lvl
    i was writing since high school lost my muse
    or inspiration so i stopped writing

    but here i am again writing so something found me
    but Crits really do help
    :) least i know what steps to take to surpass it

    | Posted on 2013-12-19 00:00:00 | by kyserin | [ Reply to This ]
      Torture me , my undying soul
    left alone , a hollow whole
    a broken key , left in a locket
    pictures of memories ,
    fading fast , a dormant
    sleep re-awaken , eyes
    closed yet , wide open
    you'll never know , what you
    meant to me , i'll just remember
    you while i dream

    Other than a few spelling mistakes, this is a fairly clear-eyed spiral into misery. I think that it certainly could benefit from some formatting tweaks, but I'll leave that to you.

    Bill
    | Posted on 2013-12-19 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


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