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    dots Submission Name: Lucid Eden™©dots

    Author: kyserin
    ASL Info:    30's/Female/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.67 - 44/25/52
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/I am dead inside
    Total Views: 717
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 365

       Inspired by my friend Zero, his lost unspoken feelings

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLucid Eden™©dots

    Lucid Eden™©

    it okay you tore apart my heart
    but i felt nothing just something

    wet and bitter running
    down the side of my face ,

    ill pretend im strong and that ,

    im much better off , but my insides are
    weeping these tears are falling down my
    face ,


    Submitted on 2013-12-17 16:10:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      @RWS thank you for your input
    very Appreciated

    this work was old and i havent re-written it
    but it can def use more depth an perception

    i agree ,
    please read my other work and tell me what u think :)
    | Posted on 2013-12-19 00:00:00 | by kyserin | [ Reply to This ]
      Lucid Eden

    you tore my heart apart
    but i felt nothing

    just something wet
    and bitter running

    down the side of my face
    i'll pretend im strong

    and that i'm much better off
    but my insides are weeping

    these tears are falling
    down my face

    This is a very still, very hushed, very quiet glimpse into the heart of someone who'd rather shield herself from dealing with raw pain. I made a few suggestions concerning the format of your submission, but I believe that the simple, direct language is very much in keeping with the subject matter.
    | Posted on 2013-12-19 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]

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