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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Me Without Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ForgottenGraves
    ASL Info:    20, Male
    Elite Ratio:    0.42 - 5/111/127
    Words: 86
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 476
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 586



    Description:
       Got some inspiration today. Hope you guys like it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMe Without Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Me without you..
    It's like a boat with no water.
    A fire with no warmth.
    Me without you..
    It's like north with no south.
    West with no east.
    Me without you..
    It's like a heart with no beat.
    A vein with no blood.
    Me without you..
    It's like a knife with no point.
    A stab wound with no weapon.
    Me without you..
    It's like hate without anger.
    Light without darkness.
    Me without you..
    Is like me with no life.
    Me with no love.
    Me without you..




    Submitted on 2013-12-17 16:48:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      i like this , my only comment i could complain about is the over use of me with out you , dub this being the name of your title , but your meaning is very clear

    maybe leave the one , me without you on the main opening
    then just follow with the flow of your writing

    adding me with out you between your words is pause in the flow

    Example :)

    Me without you..

    It's like a boat with no water
    A fire with no warmth

    It's like north with no south
    West with no east

    Exctra.... well i hope you dont take my comment as a bad one , but a helpful tip :)
    | Posted on 2013-12-18 00:00:00 | by kyserin | [ Reply to This ]


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