[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Lunadots

    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    58/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2788/1297/258
    Words: 55
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Serious
    Total Views: 1668
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 398

       ...and so it goes...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I miss my moon child
    As she whirls round the earth

    Hugging her mother
    As if she’d disappear

    Cooing to her cat
    Like a four-legged sister

    Eating slowly and carefully
    Like a tiny gourmand

    Asleep on a pillow
    Like an angel’s apprentice

    Happiness comes with
    Its own ennui…

    Submitted on 2013-12-19 10:31:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I can connect with this combination of wistfulness and melancholy. I enjoy the relationship you've drawn between the phases of the moon and the changes in a child as she grows. I saw hints of references to constellations as well. But perhaps that's just me. At any rate, nice write.
    | Posted on 2015-11-22 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]
      I hope to comment on this with empathy one day. I call you a decent poet to contrast that you seem like a great father.
    | Posted on 2015-09-15 00:00:00 | by ShyOne | [ Reply to This ]
      aw, when kiddos grow up (and develop their own sense of dissatisfaction)
    This is really a beautiful poem. I miss your writing. Glad to see that you still post now and then.

    I miss this place, sometimes. Played a big role in my growing up.
    | Posted on 2015-08-10 00:00:00 | by screams | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with latentlylyrical (above) like I usually do!
    this is a lovely poem. I can just see the little person. But will she be in orbit for long? It is so much like an epitaph that I got a bit worried.
    | Posted on 2014-06-10 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      This has such a great essence for the reader. You can feel intimacy and longing, some really great elements of a relationship. What you did here was create poetry. :) I really enjoy pieces like this, blessed for their tenderness and simplicity. It makes is perfect. Really art and that's the best to have it almost raw. Only this has warmth of soul.

    Very pleased. Definitely a fav. I have always loved Luna for a girls name.
    | Posted on 2014-01-04 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      To me,
    this reads like the happy sadness that comes with watching one's daughter grow up.
    She is no longer the tiny angel asleep on her pillow;
    nor will she ever be again,
    as that child is lost in time.

    Lovely write.
    | Posted on 2013-12-31 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      No, not a feline pet. Otherwise I wouldn't mention a feline pet as her friend.
    | Posted on 2013-12-25 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      what I took from this write, is the loss of a feline pet. perhaps, I'm wrong. missing someone or something dear. we long for our warm memories.
    | Posted on 2013-12-24 00:00:00 | by pioneerheart | [ Reply to This ]
      One is never fully satisfied. That sense of being jaded...unable to sleep I wonder, lost in the luna
    | Posted on 2013-12-20 00:00:00 | by Damien Vladimir | [ Reply to This ]
    | Posted on 2013-12-20 00:00:00 | by Damien Vladimir | [ Reply to This ]
      Delve deeper in what way? I believe poetry shouldn't always be self-explanatory. Sometimes we should ponder...
    | Posted on 2013-12-19 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Care to delv deeper into this one ?
    Explain the meaning ?, this one intrigues me
    yet stops me in my place

    Pondering thoughts.....hmmmm

    | Posted on 2013-12-19 00:00:00 | by kyserin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]