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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: love medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kyserin
    ASL Info:    30's/Female/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.67 - 44/25/52
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 689
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 952



    Description:
       love


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslove medots
    -------------------------------------------


    love me ,
    just touch me , pull my hair ,
    look deep into my eyes

    show me that love,
    tell me all about that devotion

    make me high,kiss my hips
    grab my waist pull me near

    we both have nothing left to fear
    our love eternal ,show me your emotion

    turn on the heat ,
    make my body burn in flames

    Destiny ,tied by fate
    love me , tie me up
    never let me go

    we'll burn long into the night
    our love by candle light

    we've only begun ,
    love never undone

    lets pass the milky way
    kiss the stars ,

    hold the sun & moon hostage
    jealous of our love ,
    who dreams of these things

    such deadly passion ,
    light the world a blaze

    just love me,








    Submitted on 2013-12-31 19:48:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Excellent. You make me feel your passion and (please don't take this as some kind of pass) make me want to be your lover.

    Just a couple of little things.

    I would drop "our love eternal" and "Destiny ,tied by fate", as they take me away from the physical desire you have created

    both of the following seem forced as to rhyme

    we'll burn long into the night
    our love by candle light

    and

    we've only begun ,
    love never undone

    Perhaps something like

    shadowed by candle light
    our love burns through the night

    having only begun
    our love will never be undone

    - Jim




    | Posted on 2014-01-02 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]


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    198535

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