Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: los ángeles caídosdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 57
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 662
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 420



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslos ángeles caídosdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I slide
    into a fade
    ING
    World
    Of stagnant pools
    Stark reflection
    And haunted lives
    the moon's rays
    Stay a perpetual gray
    I ate death with velocity
    Yesterday
    And now I
    Fear the breath
    of
    Angels
    Forsaken
    Fell
    and
    Falling
    For they remember the spoken
    Word of God




    Submitted on 2014-01-05 18:14:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      For me this is the poem and I particularly like this as the first line:

    I ate death with velocity
    Yesterday
    And now I
    Fear the breath
    of
    Angels
    Forsaken
    Fell
    and
    Falling
    For they remember the spoken
    Word of God

    But you probably think you need all that stuff about stagnant pools and gray moon rays at the beginning for atmosphere or something.




    | Posted on 2014-01-08 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]
      I still can never get the video to just pop up.
    | Posted on 2014-01-07 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't have any comments on the poem yet. Just the title so far. Did you mean Angels? Here's something I found for Angeles:

    http://youtu.be/yJIPVhQgcz8
    | Posted on 2014-01-07 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    198556

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Every..... written by jackz
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Cover written by saartha
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Etiquette written by saartha
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Carry written by saartha
    The Azores written by poetotoe
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry