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    dots Submission Name: I Askdots

    Author: Snow9
    Elite Ratio:    3 - 38/21/17
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/What is
    Total Views: 836
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 630

       Posting after what seems an age... Never actually thought will do so again.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Askdots

    (taking off the rubber tip of my pen)
    which sadness is this?
    That day,
    innocent me jostled him for the train,
    his spectacles broke- "your happy birthday"-
    I stayed home for the day.
    His eyes were safe,
    got glass in my teeth.
    Which one is this taste of failure to be guilty?

    Love will restore 3D to my live existence,
    wherein, following fatherless Browning,
    I may hide from the fourth....
    Really, I don't feel.
    Fiction, following, fend off pain.

    Nonsense!:-P (-a foreign cat calls)
    You will see!

    Submitted on 2014-01-07 08:00:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I've read this a few times and each time I think of something different to say, nothing solid or concrete, rather- which is kind of my overall feeling on the poem. It feels stream-of-consciousness, or like it seems to wish to keep itself separate from the reader- to maintain a certain level of mystery while seeking to make some kind of impression. Like a dream maybe, where you wake up feeling heavy with a kind of remembrance but unable to express the how and why of it.

    It's interesting, if somewhat confusing. I feel that the confusion is intentional, though. Like bits of memory and how we try to piece together meaning or understanding from what remains cemented in our minds. Definitely a searching.

    I think, it could be reeled in a little to offer a reader a little more to grab onto, but saying that, it feels intentional, as I said, mostly. And maybe a little, at points, making fun of either itself - or some other high-minded subject that isn't actually meant to be pinpointed. It leaves questions, which remains a good thing for a poem to do.

    Just some thoughts. Maybe not so helpful.
    | Posted on 2014-01-17 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]

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