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    dots Submission Name: Bitter Sexdots

    Author: MyPeriodical
    ASL Info:    18/m/pr
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 303/230/267
    Words: 207
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angst
    Total Views: 814
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1303


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBitter Sexdots

    She was grimacing, I silently crying
    Bodies thrusting and hips snapping
    to the rhythm of our (nothing but) fucking
    I had read stories about beautiful love making
    But she was sad and aching (my sex fruitless tonight and every other time)

    Head turned and lips sealed
    (As if there was nothing to be said or heard)
    Eyes closed (she wanted the nightmare to end)
    And I could only linger in her head,
    surge after surge, giving attempt to pleasure her
    (without knowing where to begin)

    Legs wrapped around my rib-cage
    (bone by bone crumbling into rocks like the rock in my head)
    her feet stretched, toes curled and veins strain
    To discontent
    as I rise from my aggravation and fuck her into the bed

    I can hear her scream out with hatred to the flavor
    of rough, deep lust
    and grip fingers to my shoulders (pressing dark bruises to my skin)
    I only keep going until tears roll down her cheeks
    and her body tenses
    and her lips go dry
    and her voice vaporizes
    (into the oxygen in my lungs)

    But at the end of it all
    We're done
    We're over
    And she goes back to drinking herself comatose.

    Submitted on 2014-01-19 12:34:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It was bitterly sweet and sad, at once. I think you conveyed, very nicely, that awkward intimacy that many of us have experienced, thereby drawing the reader in and making it relatable. Nice write.
    | Posted on 2015-08-18 00:00:00 | by closetpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a a black and white movie and a cold reality. I don't know if i've ever lived this sort of empty sex... but i've wrapped myself in all the feelings that give rise to it. This.. is sharp... down to the sounds and shudders. Every curled toe and dry kiss.

    SweetAndOhSome says it best... it's raw. It's coarse. It rubs up against you in all the wrong ways. Visceral.

    I know some who enjoy this type of lust driven sex fix. Who crave it.

    I know i've been at points in my life where I'd have laid back or thrust on without a second thought for sake of finding some backwards peace in these acts. Where I wanted to have every painful self-hating thought in my head fucked away.

    But... most nights I felt this way... I turned her away.
    | Posted on 2014-02-04 00:00:00 | by Passionbyapathy | [ Reply to This ]
      I feel despair, torment, lack of power, lust and guilt above all. The futile atempt of trying to breathe life into a person. That is what I saw in front of me. Good imagery, as I was reading - it was as if the scene unfolded before my eyes. The word "Loveless" comes to mind when thinking about your poem, don't ask for a reason - it just does.
    Yet all of the () ruin the rhythm of the poem. You should try adding them under every verse as you did for some of them. The words do not even need the () because you rhyme is not maintained during the poem, they will not affect it. This poem has strong dark-purple emotions, arrange it a bit and it will send chills down everyones spines.
    | Posted on 2014-01-24 00:00:00 | by Akiko Hime | [ Reply to This ]


    This..is... kind of awesome. I mean, it is horribly sad, obviously. Trying so hard to please someone... and... I dont know. I both hate and love this. Because..it is such a raw subject and raw emotion.

    Excellent write.
    | Posted on 2014-01-24 00:00:00 | by SweetAndOhSoME | [ Reply to This ]

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