Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: First Glancedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: 777sacrites777
    ASL Info:    24/F/TX
    Elite Ratio:    3.06 - 343/189/83
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 559
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 645



    Description:
       True love


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFirst Glancedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I catch just a glimpse
    of an angel it seems,
    an apparition who once
    only existed in dreams.

    And when I caught his attention
    I thought I'd began to doze,
    because there was no way
    that his eyes would've chose

    such imperfection
    on which to gaze.
    So I pinched myself
    to revive from my daze.

    But to my surprise
    instead of waking,
    I came to find
    my eyes weren't faking.

    I made the first move
    and took my chance
    on true love at first sight.
    I found love at first glance.




    Submitted on 2014-01-31 15:55:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was awesome.
    | Posted on 2014-06-23 00:00:00 | by kase | [ Reply to This ]
      The idea's lovely, but i'm not really fond of the execution. I believe you were aiming for the word 'doze' instead of 'dose' in the second stanza, and the overall grammar is a little iffy. I like the story behind it all, though, so keep going.
    You'll get there over time.
    | Posted on 2014-02-04 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    198658

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Push written by JanePlane
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Linger written by saartha
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Bond written by saartha
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Every..... written by jackz
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    written by Daniel Barlow
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    One Day written by WriteSomething
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry