do you see? by birdy5005

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Submission Name: do you see? dots

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Author:	birdy5005
Elite Ratio:	4.45 - 180/134/29
Words:	176

Class/Type:	Poetry/Serious
Total Views:	349
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1167

Description:

do you see? dots

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do you see yourself?
do you see me?
no? oh!
a rather unlucky type folk.

i dont mean to boast--BUT!
i have this power!
yes, a power, you see!
rare!
rare!
but with greatest of meaning!

see!
this power is great!
as it will always be!
i see--
you as you!
and me as me!

keep quiet!
now--
dont be too shocked!
nor thrilled!
for it is true!
i will never judge you!

as i see you--
i see worry, yes worry!
now, now!
there is no need to worry!
for as much as i know--you see!
no one else has this power but me!

come now!
do not you worry!
be not afraid!
for i will love you as you!
as i ask of you--
to love me as me!

see!
you can have this power also!
yes!--give it a try!
mentally!
remove yourself
from the public eye!

forget your worry!
and all you have ever before seen!
now! tell me!
my friend--do you see me as me?

Submitted on 2004-08-04 20:37:01 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  wow that was annoying and had no point sounds like a six year old wrote it seriously get a differnt hobby
no sense to it and it was too hard to read it didnt flow well at all
| Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by Seraphim | [ Reply to This ]
  All the exclaimation marks in this poem threw me off. The structure was a bit eclectic as well. Overall, though, thought and emotion show through the cosmetic problems of the poem. Good writing.
Wishing for more,
-Brian
| Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by Imadjinn | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a really deep poem that kind of described what I had to do to escape the sheer hell my old life was bringing me
You have to look deep into yourself and realize the foughts you have before you can start to correct them
This works beautifully with an addictive personality
Very Nicely Done
Ron
| Posted on 2005-12-29 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  The greatest power in life is to see yourself and others clearly. It is very hard. If you have this power you are truly blessed. I like this because it is about something important to all of us.
| Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by greensnake | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a great piece! It is like an answer to the poem I wrote "What do you see?" This is what I want people to do, not judge. i love this poem and I love the message. I also enjoyed the format it was written in. This is and all around fantastic piece!
- - Oli
| Posted on 2005-02-10 00:00:00 | by Oli | [ Reply to This ]
  I beleive that this should be a message that more people know about and that more people should look at life this way. I know to many people that judge and don't look at me for who I am, I'm excited to see what else you have, thanks for sharing
| Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by Sail4life310 | [ Reply to This ]
  interesting structure here. i like the message you are putting across about not judging people and seeing them for who they really are, through all the bull[censored]. too most people aren't like that. they only see the surface or what they want to see. nice poem, birdy! glad i got over my scare to check it out!
| Posted on 2004-10-24 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
  Unique... very different. Never seen anything like it. I wasnt able to get the theme or point of it , but i liked the different way it was written, good job with originality
| Posted on 2004-08-04 00:00:00 | by Ang | [ Reply to This ]
  thats a pretty cool write. i'm glad some people dont judge others, i've never met anyone like you. i can not say i have this power completely, yes i do judge people, i try not to, but i do sometimes. anyways this was a good write, very original. you must be an interesting person
-elaine
| Posted on 2004-08-04 00:00:00 | by playcrackthesky | [ Reply to This ]
  Is the power that you can see you as you and me as me? To see people as they are? That is my guess. I liked it. It was very good. I have never seen anything written in that kind of manner though...Very interesting.
| Posted on 2004-08-04 00:00:00 | by ReiLuna | [ Reply to This ]
  hmmm... i can see how it relates to my work. interesting. i like it. freestyle, i absolutely love freestyle, but i have a hard time doing it.
congrats, you've found your way to my fav list
| Posted on 2004-08-20 00:00:00 | by hybridmagnolia | [ Reply to This ]

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