[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I missdots

    Author: Zai
    ASL Info:    24/m/US
    Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 66/145/98
    Words: 292
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 627
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1652

       I donno... I just... I donno.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI missdots

    I miss, and I reminisce.
    I miss the moments I never had a chance to miss.
    I reminisce the moments I wish I had half a mind to remember so I could miss them later.
    I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and tell myself to remember these moments because they only happen once.
    To remember that you will only have one mom.
    You will have every chance to say something,
    but if you don't say something,
    your chances will run out.
    And you only have one mom.
    So really, you only have one chance to say it.
    You only have one chance to live and revel in the moment,
    And remember the moments so you have something to hold on to.
    'Cause if you don't have something to hold on to,
    You'll slip and forget and miss the times you wish you could reminisce.
    I'd tell myself this: Don't forget.
    And don't forge a memory that never happened either.
    And believe them when they say she loved you.
    'Cause she did.
    And nothing you've ever seen or thought or remembered but forgot is going to change that.
    It's a fact.
    And it's wrapped up in apologies and mailed to a God you hate for taking her,
    but let it go and know that it got to her.
    The God you hate delivered the message you regret never saying to the mother you wish you could remember more about so you could sit and miss and reminisce about her.
    But now...
    The best you can come up with is: I miss you. I'm sorry mom.
    I love you.
    Where'd you go?

    Submitted on 2014-02-05 21:20:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      great job :)
    | Posted on 2014-02-24 00:00:00 | by Teofila | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem makes me want to go and hug my mother. It has such powerful sad emotions laced into this. And although this is about the passing your mom (I would assume) it can also relate to other people you have lost in life. People you took for granted because you never thought they would be taken from you so soon. And it also has a good message about living in the moment, treasuring our present and appreciating people. Your writing hits a nerve with this message.
    | Posted on 2014-02-17 00:00:00 | by She Is Insane | [ Reply to This ]
      Assuming this is personal experience...I am so sorry this has happened to you. From your write, seems a long time ago, so now if you had any memories, they are just memories of those memories...that keep fading with the hands of time.

    I am also sorry you hate and blame God, as if he took her from you. A misconception many often have...and so, you've developed this hatred for someone whom you don't really know, because if you did know him, you'd be feeling the same love for him that you feel for your mother, whom you hardly knew. Your words wrapped tightly around my heart...

    On a writing note, I really enjoyed this sentence, for its fluidity:
    "And nothing you've ever seen or thought,
    or remembered but forgot,
    is going to change that."

    And, understanding this is probably ranting a bit (ES is good for that), if you were to revisit here, and change a few things, might I suggest you break your lines in different places?

    Keep writing...just because it feels good.
    | Posted on 2014-02-06 00:00:00 | by KimmyMim | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    This written by Chelebel
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Incubus written by monad
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]