Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In there somewhere, was goodbyedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: CrypticBard
    Elite Ratio:    3.55 - 368/381/224
    Words: 216
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 814
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1437



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn there somewhere, was goodbyedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Some life experiences bring a finality and an inner chaos that would not relent. Hence the jumbled imagery and tones. Hope the points carry across, subtle or otherwise.


    In there somewhere was goodbye
    .



    Shoulders slump as footsteps fade into
    the darkened hallway; out of sight.
    Then a click-sound of a door, shut;
    punctuates a chest-heaving full-stop.

    Regret now seeps across the
    tidal plain, waiting in vain hope
    for a reverse ebb that doesn't arrive.
    Regret, only regret remains:

    Strain and hear that inaudible sigh
    as you lock lips in silhouetted embrace;
    It was the kiss of a toxic cocktail--

    It's the burnt smell of rubber
    that lingers thick in the air after
    the smoldered wreck on the road.

    It's the ping of a pin dropping
    after a grenade had been lobbed
    and the afterthought of my diving --

    But did I dive to shield you or
    was it to duck out of the way?

    Regret is the sound of pebbles
    tapping off a casket lid as they
    bounce from a cascade of apologies.

    Still that door clicks shut -- the last time.
    Your footfalls fade into the bright,
    searing light of the pain that is left behind.









    Submitted on 2014-02-09 18:40:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Feelings can be so strong and sometimes incapable of being detailed into things that can be so prevalent in all of our lives, you did a wonderful imagery of such a "loss" and I think everyone can relate to the emptiness colored in your words and I love that I got to share in them, thank you.


    Denise
    | Posted on 2014-02-24 00:00:00 | by Forgiven | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    198702

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    Cover written by saartha
    Every..... written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Carry written by saartha
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Etiquette written by saartha
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry