[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: In there somewhere, was goodbyedots

    Author: CrypticBard
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 368/381/226
    Words: 216
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 842
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1437


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn there somewhere, was goodbyedots

    Some life experiences bring a finality and an inner chaos that would not relent. Hence the jumbled imagery and tones. Hope the points carry across, subtle or otherwise.

    In there somewhere was goodbye

    Shoulders slump as footsteps fade into
    the darkened hallway; out of sight.
    Then a click-sound of a door, shut;
    punctuates a chest-heaving full-stop.

    Regret now seeps across the
    tidal plain, waiting in vain hope
    for a reverse ebb that doesn't arrive.
    Regret, only regret remains:

    Strain and hear that inaudible sigh
    as you lock lips in silhouetted embrace;
    It was the kiss of a toxic cocktail--

    It's the burnt smell of rubber
    that lingers thick in the air after
    the smoldered wreck on the road.

    It's the ping of a pin dropping
    after a grenade had been lobbed
    and the afterthought of my diving --

    But did I dive to shield you or
    was it to duck out of the way?

    Regret is the sound of pebbles
    tapping off a casket lid as they
    bounce from a cascade of apologies.

    Still that door clicks shut -- the last time.
    Your footfalls fade into the bright,
    searing light of the pain that is left behind.

    Submitted on 2014-02-09 18:40:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Feelings can be so strong and sometimes incapable of being detailed into things that can be so prevalent in all of our lives, you did a wonderful imagery of such a "loss" and I think everyone can relate to the emptiness colored in your words and I love that I got to share in them, thank you.

    | Posted on 2014-02-24 00:00:00 | by Forgiven | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Linger written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Brigit written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]