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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Goodbye Poemdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: annie0888
    ASL Info:    49/f/LA
    Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 327/382/122
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 651
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 581



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGoodbye Poemdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Let's just say apples do explode.
    Then what would you do
    if you were sitting on a bench
    in a park eating lunch when suddenly
    the stranger next to you disintegrated -
    just as he lifts the fruit to his
    lips just as the sky tilts and
    pours sunshine down on his
    red hair just as you turn to ask him
    to read the poem you're reading
    KABOOM he's gone and there you sit
    alone on the bench poem in one hand
    apple in the other - bright bits of peel
    all over your new gray coat?




    Submitted on 2014-02-11 12:57:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is one of the first pieces I have read -(since lurking in the background these past few weeks)----probably half of your views of "Goodbye" --are me! ! I keep coming back to try to say something worthwhile. I have read a number of your poems as well, and love the distinctly quirky insight --from a mature POV.
    Whatever, I love this poem,--the park bench scenario crossed with random quantum glimpses that explode into a delightful whimsical query.

    Probably not the best critique--but hell, I am rusty!
    Regards,
    Silver
    | Posted on 2014-02-20 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      then would his tumbling fragments rise
    like ripe stars in another sky

    or will they fall (fumbling) to earth
    like seedlings in a world of hurt...

    | Posted on 2014-02-17 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      People will do anything to avoid having to read something--even explode.
    Haha nice little image here
    | Posted on 2014-02-12 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]


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