Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ©™ First Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kyserin
    ASL Info:    30's/Female/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.67 - 44/25/52
    Words: 271
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 662
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1535



    Description:
       About a past love , that still randomly reminisces


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots©™ First Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I never wanted to let this go
    But there were just some things

    That you finally needed to know

    For a time you were mine ,
    you held my heart in your hands

    Now i'm a puddle on the floor
    I never came clean,

    I never got the chance to say
    what it meant to me

    Time cant't turn back, only moves forward
    I love anther , he's good to me

    But my feelings for you , still live in me
    Today i let it go, The tears feel down my face

    A sigh of relief now lives in it's place
    First love i'll never forget your face

    Or the way you filled up an empty space
    A lost little girl , that found true love

    A rebel on a bike ,right after junior high
    Those deepest brown eyes , getting lost in a trace

    The warmest heart that could melt any Ice
    The day i seen you cry , torn my world apart

    I felt it was my place to heal your heart
    Arms with warmth a strong embrace

    It still feels like yesterday, these memories
    Still hold this place , My heart still beats

    It misses you, I've confessed
    All these feelings to you

    First love where does it go from here
    There are still so many things
    Left unsaid here ....















    Submitted on 2014-02-13 11:47:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Oh I really liked your poem. I wish this is how my first love felt about me because if he did, I would run back to him but I would never know. I liked your poem because it's relatable and because I am also emotionally connected to it.
    I just have a little suggestion: I would recommends to place a comma after warmth.

    Arms with warmth a strong embrace

    Otherwise good poem! Keep
    Up the good work
    | Posted on 2014-02-17 00:00:00 | by She Is Insane | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    198714

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Giving written by jjd
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    To written by SavedDragon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry