I've been meaning to make a change in my life,
but it seems like my life keeps changing the same.
Like if I took all the change in my life and took it to a coin star,
To cash in and summarize my change to the biggest bills I could get,
A picture of me, right now, would pop out.
What’s the value of that?
That is, the changes in my past have already changed me,
but presently I keep complaining about the unchanging ahead of me.
What's in store for the future? It's gonna be different next month,
better then it was last month and this month I'm gonna prepare for that
change and save up, but bills demand to be paid up
and in this same month I'm still struggling to get a leg up
and out of bed with all these constant problems swirling round in my head.
The changes in my past, when my mom passed and school crashed
and I spent a good period of my life trashed, living in trash,
living off the good fortune of others with the fortune enough to give,
and while I was struggling with the misfortune
of trying to live with an ever taxing manic depression with a story line all to itself,
I was too wrapped up in knots to see past my own plot twists
to see the chances for the different changes abundant around me.
I missed fortune.
I've always looked at tomorrow as a day for change,
a day that will be worth remembering.
Tomorrow is the day when I'll start working out, eating better,
managing life/ money/ happiness/ love/ trust,
next month is the month that I'll have more money so I can play catch up,
match up each dollar to each bill and have a few hundred to spare.
It's all there, with interest and excess,
and with interest in the excess more then the base line of just happiness.
I've tried to create lush without soil, to make love without needs,
to make doors without keys, to make changes without choice,
because it's easier to change when you can place the blame elsewhere
if you don’t like what the change has done.
But through the past I've come, and am,
and into the future I look and believe
and I've slowly come to realize that
where the past and future collide is where the change is going to be.
be, live, begin, breathe in, look inward, breathe outward,
do, start, move out, take part, work inward, look outward.
What are you waiting for? An engraved invitation?
It’s already written in brail on your skin,
Scars like tally marks,
Remember all those times you wanted to give in?