[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Writer's Blockdots

    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 194
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 610
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1225


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWriter's Blockdots

    I miss the way you lingered
    at the edge of my conscious
    parting the door slightly open
    to watch me sleep naked beneath the moon

    You'd whisper in sighs your secrets and your dreams
    over and over, just hoping
    I'd take them to the birds and they would
    shout them to the sky

    You'd leave before I woke up
    but not before kissing me gently
    with your parting words
    of Euphoria and Eureka and Truth

    I'd open my eyes in comfort and in ecstasy
    Taking my heart out of its box
    my brain from under the bed
    to bring butterflies and flowers back into my eyes

    but you have been absent lately
    so my brain gathers spider-webs
    and my heart beats more slowly
    and i see no truth nor understanding

    the moon doesn't rise and the sun
    came only for the euphoria
    i keep constant in this state but i don't miss the sleep
    (the spider-webs wouldn't tell me if i did)

    i miss the way you lingered
    at the edge of my conscious
    i sit and stand and walk around
    but all my doors are closed

    Submitted on 2014-02-24 23:42:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Silver said it all. I'll just add my excellent - you sublimely touch emotion. - Jim
    | Posted on 2014-03-04 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      Loved this!--easy to relate to as it is written with such sincerity and conviction. Beautiful imagery conveys well the loss of motivation , the loss of dreams, the helpless emptiness --- simply but effectively. My favorite was the two lines repeated at the start and end of the poem, "i miss the way you lingered
    at the edge of my conscious"---and also the contrasti of emotions in those two verses. Well done
    | Posted on 2014-02-25 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Push written by JanePlane
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    AI written by poetotoe
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Linger written by saartha
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    True Death written by layDsayD
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Bond written by saartha
    Fasade written by jackz
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]