Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Writer's Blockdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 194
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 525
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1225



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWriter's Blockdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I miss the way you lingered
    at the edge of my conscious
    parting the door slightly open
    to watch me sleep naked beneath the moon

    You'd whisper in sighs your secrets and your dreams
    over and over, just hoping
    I'd take them to the birds and they would
    shout them to the sky

    You'd leave before I woke up
    but not before kissing me gently
    with your parting words
    of Euphoria and Eureka and Truth

    I'd open my eyes in comfort and in ecstasy
    Taking my heart out of its box
    my brain from under the bed
    to bring butterflies and flowers back into my eyes

    but you have been absent lately
    so my brain gathers spider-webs
    and my heart beats more slowly
    and i see no truth nor understanding

    the moon doesn't rise and the sun
    came only for the euphoria
    i keep constant in this state but i don't miss the sleep
    (the spider-webs wouldn't tell me if i did)

    i miss the way you lingered
    at the edge of my conscious
    i sit and stand and walk around
    but all my doors are closed




    Submitted on 2014-02-24 23:42:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Silver said it all. I'll just add my excellent - you sublimely touch emotion. - Jim
    | Posted on 2014-03-04 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      Loved this!--easy to relate to as it is written with such sincerity and conviction. Beautiful imagery conveys well the loss of motivation , the loss of dreams, the helpless emptiness --- simply but effectively. My favorite was the two lines repeated at the start and end of the poem, "i miss the way you lingered
    at the edge of my conscious"---and also the contrasti of emotions in those two verses. Well done
    Silver
    | Posted on 2014-02-25 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    198736

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry