When Asking One's Husband For A Div -------------------------------------------
When asking one's husband for a divorce,
One should remain aloof, emotionless--
[i]Not like all the times you came home late and cried and became defensive because he said you were fucking someone when really you were at your night job waiting tables and yes you had flirted with a fat man who wanted more but you have learned the fine art of flirting without getting fucked. And not like the day after when you lost it and flushed his Lortabs into the toilet because he had taken the fat man’s tip money from your purse[/i]
One should have a plan--
[i]Not like the time you only thought you were ready to call it quits and mouthed off and got the door slammed in your face so you stood outside in the cold no shoes no key no purse and sat on the front porch thinking of your two small kids inside while he reminded you through the keyhole that you’re a lousy mother. So you said sorry I didn’t mean it I was only blowing off steam[/i]
One should keep it simple--
[i]No need to repeat all your reasons like how you didn't appreciate coming home to find a Rottweiler puppy sleeping in your bed and that the puppy cost three hundred dollars -- the same three hundred dollars you were planning to spend on a past-due Visa bill. And try not to give him too much credit for what turned out to be an okay purchase after all when you realize you loved the dog more than you ever loved your husband[/i]
One should speak firmly, dress appropriately--
[i]And for god's sake don't sleep with him afterward just for old times' sake. Even if he does say baby I'm sorry I know you deserve better. Even if he does kiss the back of your neck right where you like it. Even if you haven't had sex in a year and a half. Remember that you are a camel carrying the very last straw. Remember that you have had it up to here and here is where the side of your hand hits the bridge of your nose and everything under your hand is water and you are drowning and need to kick to the surface now[/i]
One should be objective and NOT think , even for a moment how truly, madly, exactly the scenes depicted within might strike a mirror image of experiences that the reader may have endured---
One may relate, but must have the inner strength to bite one's own tongue and focus on the message of the writer--after all, one's own dismal forays into failed relationships are no cause to judge others'--
And--one should pay heed to the wishes of the poet/writer in question, one should respect their cry for specific criticism, such as nitpicking details, first impressions--whatever--- one should NOT just resort to mere compliments and /or blithering random, unctuous statements, even though overwhelmed by what one perceives as the poet's intent.
BUT, when one is besotted by another's words that may relate to one's own experience and finds oneself at loss for words, then--- and only then---may one proclaim "Well-done!--I couldn't have said it better!