Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Promisedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Teofila
    ASL Info:    17, F, with the wolves
    Elite Ratio:    0.4 - 210/104/71
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 1380
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 538



    Description:
       This is one i wrote that can go boy or girl
    Friend or love


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Promisedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Im your star
    Ill shine so bright
    Just like a beacon
    In the dead of night
    Ill light the path
    Upon which youll walk
    Ill be the friend
    To whom you talk
    Ill write the words
    That you will read
    Ill give you all
    The time you need
    I make a Promise
    To you here and now
    To be your friend/To always love you
    Through ups and downs
    Ill be as loyal
    As a wolf to her/his pack
    It is this Promise
    I will never take back...




    Submitted on 2014-03-07 17:53:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this and I used to write like this. It's not that I've changed a lot. I don't have any good inputs whatsoever because I personally think this is a good write. I think each line should not be strictly consistent as to having visualizations and then not. But it must relate and I think yours does. Thanks for sharing!

    Jen
    | Posted on 2014-04-03 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]
      I feel like this is one of those instances where you kept having a great idea for the first line, but then followed through and ended up just struggling to find something worth rhyming with on the second. For instance:

    "Ill write the words
    That you will read
    Ill give you all
    The time you need"

    Started out with a visualization and then I'm like "what?", get what I mean? Not as well thought out I thought as some of your other work.
    | Posted on 2014-04-01 00:00:00 | by Zanitystar | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    198782

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    & written by MEGASWELL
    Me Verses written by cornonthekob
    March to the Block written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ~~~ written by MEGASWELL
    For Joanne written by rememberplaydoh
    Spray Paint the Pearly Gates written by HisNameIsNoMore
    30/Om written by rememberplaydoh
    when angels deserve to die written by MyPeriodical
    Terrified part two written by MyPeriodical
    Thursday Night Friday written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Between the walls written by taintedsmiles
    Sledge written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Up in Smoke written by rememberplaydoh
    ¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡ written by MEGASWELL
    Terrified written by MyPeriodical
    Sick on written by MEGASWELL
    Only One You written by Darkwarrior
    How much for love? written by Darkwarrior
    *)*(*)*(*)*(* written by MEGASWELL
    To the Poets written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Searchers written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Coming Back.. Again written by informations
    a useless assumption written by cornonthekob
    Reflection written by MyPeriodical
    proclamations to the void written by cornonthekob
    [-_-_-] written by MEGASWELL
    Mute and Misanthropy written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Commands written by Daniel Barlow
    Only One You written by Darkwarrior
    Hooked on a feeling written by OneDarkFlame92

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry