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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: M3dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MyPeriodical
    ASL Info:    18/m/pr
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 288/229/264
    Words: 201
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 694
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1287



    Description:
       "Loving A Skinny Girl"


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsM3dots
    -------------------------------------------


    This is for all those times
    I ate less than her
    And measured my waist
    To compare before & after numbers

    I didn’t want to be better
    I wanted to please
    But it’s difficult when
    You’re naturally

    bigger than the other
    And unattractive, you see
    There’s no way in hell
    She could possibly want me

    With all her beautiful glory
    And perfect tone
    I just want to aim for
    Not being the ugly one

    I want her to be proud
    of holding my hand
    In public, in private,
    in front of her friends

    I find it unsatisfying
    To 'be lucky' in the pride-book
    I don’t want to gloat about
    how hot my girl looks

    I want to take photos
    And be voted the cutest couple
    Not the guy in the circle
    Who somehow got his hands on a model

    With his looks and his body
    What a typical thing
    How the woman must be thin
    And the man is completely free

    to eat and eat and eat.

    I want to break the generic
    And push in the new
    I want to sacrifice a little something
    So I am not only touching you.




    Submitted on 2014-03-09 12:26:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      You know when you meet someone, it's a spell. I'm thinking she's probably thinking:

    I'm seventeen, let it last.



    I like that the poem makes me want to parent you because it's kind of quixotic and terribly one sided, you can never know what it is from one individual to the next
    and then throw in the fact that she's a woman! in which case, encourage her to her food, enjoy your food -and don't mind holding her hand.

    This is what I say to the poem.

    The last 10 lines are kind of interesting because the narrator eats and eats and eats feeding his insecurities/assumptions

    I don't know if intentional - but the last few lines have a sexual undertone, mixed with the sentiment, it's really sweet.


    Do people ever talk?



    haha, it's a frustrating poem, forcing me to offer forth advice or aspect you haven't really asked for, it's engaging, or- stupidly engaging, that's what's good about it, helped of course by the fact that it's honest.
    | Posted on 2015-05-17 00:00:00 | by theludus | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    198791

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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