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    dots Submission Name: Destined to Fall Downdots

    Author: ForgottenGraves
    ASL Info:    20, Male
    Elite Ratio:    0.46 - 5/116/131
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 531
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 515

       Eh why not?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDestined to Fall Downdots

    I lay here in my bed.
    Voices scream inside my head.

    Tears roll down my face.
    You left without a trace.

    I feel like a disgrace.
    Maybe that is the case.

    But I will keep on fighting.
    And I will keep on trying.

    After all you and I are no different.
    The similarities are so clearly apparent.

    I hope you see that we're all the same in this town.
    Especially when we're all destined to fall down.

    Submitted on 2014-03-21 23:58:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      With a little less angst and unreasonable rhyming couplets this would make a nice song lyric, beyond that personally it sounds like something I would write down, feel bad about later and tear up and throw away.
    | Posted on 2014-03-30 00:00:00 | by Zanitystar | [ Reply to This ]
      They say you can't love another unless or until you love yourself. Maybe such was the case with him
    | Posted on 2014-03-25 00:00:00 | by Damien Vladimir | [ Reply to This ]
      Wonder what your main point is here... not lol obvious...pretty sure in the first line you meant bed and i personally think your second line would flow better if you put 'screaming in my head'
    take out i guess in the sixth line
    take out on in the eighth line
    no idea how to fix nine and ten
    in line 12 instead of we are id put we're

    idk just a suggestion...i think itd flow better that way....maybe not. idk
    | Posted on 2014-03-24 00:00:00 | by Teofila | [ Reply to This ]

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