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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cloverdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mepo
    ASL Info:    22/M/VA
    Elite Ratio:    2.87 - 20/35/15
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 657
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 492



    Description:
       This is just a start, something i have been playing with. I will continue to work on this, i am trying for visualisation. Thank you for your input.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCloverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am a four leaf clover
    in a crowd not but threes
    forever she seems to be searching
    maybe one day she will see

    I may be to you a symbol
    Of luck and childhood glee
    But i feel as if i am a loner
    So unlucky amongst the threes

    Oh to be a part of that crowd
    Maybe not so unique
    Sometimes i pretend my leaves of four
    for a moment are leaves of three










    Submitted on 2014-04-01 02:08:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      If you want visualization you'll need to use words that strike cords within us. like just for example:

    I may be to you a symbol
    Of luck and childhood glee
    But i feel as if i am a loner
    So unlucky amongst the threes


    written this way:

    a symbol to you
    luck and childhood glee
    but i remain alone
    unlucky amongst threes

    see what I mean. Just a simple adjustment of dropping some and rephrasing others.

    I really enjoyed this. It's a very charming piece and I'm glad I clicked on it.

    Cleverly done
    kelly
    | Posted on 2014-05-19 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      You said you are trying for visualization so I must say you must work on it.
    "I am a four leaf clover
    in a crowd not but threes
    forever she seems to be searching"-quite good and this makes me read more then this..

    "I fear she may never find me"- I suggest you work on this line make it better.

    -Tom
    | Posted on 2014-04-10 00:00:00 | by quicksorrow | [ Reply to This ]


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