All of us are Hypocrites by TheAirWeBreathe

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Submission Name: All of us are Hypocrites dots

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Author:	TheAirWeBreathe
Elite Ratio:	2.64 - 5/16/19
Words:	115

Class/Type:	Deep Thought/Cutting or Mutilation
Total Views:	842
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	736

Description:
Bullying, sense of self, LGBT.
I write this from the point of view of a counselor...
At least as what I've seen.
"I know what you're feeling,"
"There is a pill to ease the pain"
Nobody knows what another is going through.
Drugging them up is not the answer.

All of us are Hypocrites dots

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Society is full of shit,
All of us are hypocrites.
They have no right to judge and lie,
As I no right to even cry.
Show no emotion,
Show not your pain!
Keep it all inside your brain.
Until you rot straight to the core,
Nobody has much love, my lord.
No sympathy,
No less judgemental,
It's all getting
Sentimental.
Just watch her crack day by day.
Just watch her take her life away.
Just watch her shatter to the core.
As we will never have love for her.
Society is full of shit,
But all of us are hypocrites.
Even as her wirsts run red,
You no longer share
Her sense of dread.

Submitted on 2014-04-14 22:49:02 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
I don't even know what to say except for the fact that I agree with the general gist of your piece.
Poetically, the rhyme scheme reinforces a kind of chant which I suppose alludes to the mechanical thinking process we are all slaves to, in society.
I'm only confused by one little part!
"No sympathy,
No less judgemental,
It's all getting
Sentimental."
Idk, this is just me, but I don't quite understand this part.
Sentimental as in the people around the character in your poem are watching her crumble away? I'm not sure. If so, however, that would be a really clever example of hypocrisy, considering that the whole point of the poem illustrates that society can be quite uncaring.
Clever little poem, not sure if that was intentional, but I seem to pick up little inherent hypocritical themes between the character and "society" in general.
One little nitpick: you say this is from the point of view of the counselor? I didn't quite pick that part up, but once again, that's just how I was reading it! I read it as a sort of first person from the actual character in pain (e.g., As I no right to even cry.")
All in all, a very passionate piece.
-Esha.
| Posted on 2014-04-16 00:00:00 | by EshyFishy | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.