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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: All of us are Hypocritesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheAirWeBreathe
    Elite Ratio:    2.64 - 5/16/19
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/Cutting or Mutilation
    Total Views: 842
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 736



    Description:
       Bullying, sense of self, LGBT.
    I write this from the point of view of a counselor...
    At least as what I've seen.
    "I know what you're feeling,"
    "There is a pill to ease the pain"
    Nobody knows what another is going through.
    Drugging them up is not the answer.


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    dotsAll of us are Hypocritesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Society is full of shit,
    All of us are hypocrites.
    They have no right to judge and lie,
    As I no right to even cry.
    Show no emotion,
    Show not your pain!
    Keep it all inside your brain.
    Until you rot straight to the core,
    Nobody has much love, my lord.
    No sympathy,
    No less judgemental,
    It's all getting
    Sentimental.
    Just watch her crack day by day.
    Just watch her take her life away.
    Just watch her shatter to the core.
    As we will never have love for her.
    Society is full of shit,
    But all of us are hypocrites.
    Even as her wirsts run red,
    You no longer share
    Her sense of dread.




    Submitted on 2014-04-14 22:49:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I don't even know what to say except for the fact that I agree with the general gist of your piece.
    Poetically, the rhyme scheme reinforces a kind of chant which I suppose alludes to the mechanical thinking process we are all slaves to, in society.
    I'm only confused by one little part!
    "No sympathy,
    No less judgemental,
    It's all getting
    Sentimental."
    Idk, this is just me, but I don't quite understand this part.
    Sentimental as in the people around the character in your poem are watching her crumble away? I'm not sure. If so, however, that would be a really clever example of hypocrisy, considering that the whole point of the poem illustrates that society can be quite uncaring.
    Clever little poem, not sure if that was intentional, but I seem to pick up little inherent hypocritical themes between the character and "society" in general.
    One little nitpick: you say this is from the point of view of the counselor? I didn't quite pick that part up, but once again, that's just how I was reading it! I read it as a sort of first person from the actual character in pain (e.g., As I no right to even cry.")
    All in all, a very passionate piece.
    -Esha.
    | Posted on 2014-04-16 00:00:00 | by EshyFishy | [ Reply to This ]


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