Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Feel Like Wood.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MyPeriodical
    ASL Info:    18/m/pr
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 288/229/264
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 713
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 877



    Description:
       nothing personal, just something random i whipped up off a character.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Feel Like Wood.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    a tree with no roots.

    my bones are chipping away like an old trunk
    and my veins have gone cold.

    am i of the desert or the forest? i can’t decide.
    i believe i belong to neither side.

    well, i feel quite dry
    a bit of rain would be just fine

    but at the same time, the sun is lacking these days

    no heat in the pit of my stomach
    just resting dust pooling at the bottom.

    i’m no vampire, but i bear no blood
    just rotting teeth and a fruitless tongue.

    i speak no more than i barely breathe
    thus the reason why my mouth is compared to an old floor-board;
    when i try to open up, it creaks.

    i tell myself no more,

    because no one needs to hear me.
    i am the old sofa in a grandfather’s library.




    Submitted on 2014-04-16 17:24:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i really appreciate this piece.

    your imagery is perfect. balanced and well worked.

    i especially like the floor board mouth that creaks insted of speaking... the way we stumble over our words when we're not used to getting them out. when we're not used to the opportunity to be listened to.

    and even though we readers dont know granfather or his library we all know the sofa or one just like it with the springs all unsprung and sticking into bottoms and yet there is a comfort in that sofa that cannot be explained... perhaps its just the knowledge that someone else has sat here and felt a lot like we are right now... someone else has known what it is like to be unstuck.

    im not sure im as excited about your title but thats okay...
    i would go for rotting teeth or a fruitless tongue... pull a striking title and a) people will read it and b) it will connect to the piece better.
    | Posted on 2014-04-20 00:00:00 | by allapo1ogies | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    198884

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry